








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,273 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1293 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1914 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1244 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1822 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $758,904 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bevvenator | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | smooya | 78% | 18 |
| #3 | johannes | 72% | 47 |
| #4 | berjum | 72% | 92 |
| #5 | UMBREON | 71% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bish | 71% | 49 |
| #7 | PrimeOP | 70% | 69 |
| #8 | kamil | 60% | 52 |
| #9 | Hikomi | 59% | 22 |
| #10 | JoeSKI | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kamil | 9 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | bevvenator | 7 | 0.0279 |
| #3 | berjum | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | JoeSKI | 4 | 0.0166 |
| #5 | PrimeOP | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | berjum | 372 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | kamil | 178 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Bish | 158 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | PrimeOP | 151 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | johannes | 110 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smooya | +8.51 | 95 | 64 |
| #2 | bevvenator | +4.13 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | PrimeOP | +3.51 | 90 | 71 |
| #4 | johannes | +3.20 | 94 | 81 |
| #5 | JoeSKI | +3.15 | 92 | 36 |





