








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 169 | 14% |
| Smokes | 349 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 426 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 288 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $127,875 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bocian | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | BMW E91 | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Jecce | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Grandpas Cane | 55% | 89 |
| #5 | Toyota Yaris | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BMW E91 | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Jecce | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Grandpas Cane | 55% | 89 |
| #5 | Toyota Yaris | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | Bwallker | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grandpas Cane | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | BMW E91 | 2 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grandpas Cane | 102 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Toyota Yaris | 23 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | BMW E91 | 21 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | Bocian | 14 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bwallker | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bocian | +8.90 | 93 | 67 |
| #2 | BMW E91 | +5.18 | 58 | 46 |
| #3 | Toyota Yaris | +3.76 | 56 | 70 |
| #4 | Grandpas Cane | +0.92 | 63 | 40 |
| #5 | Bwallker | +0.25 | 75 | 53 |





