










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 268 | 22% |
| Smokes | 390 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 333 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 222 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,321 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riis | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | Poopoopeepeetime | 35% | 34 |
| #3 | Tanner | 33% | 33 |
| #4 | WhileYouWait | 30% | 40 |
| #5 | MegaManks | 27% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poopoopeepeetime | 8 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | Tanner | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Joe Viben | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | MegaManks | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | WhileYouWait | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poopoopeepeetime | 157 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | Joe Viben | 137 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Tanner | 122 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | MegaManks | 75 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | WhileYouWait | 55 | 0.07 | 1 min |





