










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 656 | 19% |
| Smokes | 725 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1320 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 838 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $999,964 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 736 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $ #Koala ツ | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Hayvøn | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Drunken Master | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | N4PST4R | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | .vv3in | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jin0x :F | 52% | 48 |
| #8 | Zocker | 50% | 14 |
| #9 | †069†CobraN | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | SC | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | 𝔢𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔶𝔪0𝔲𝔰 | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jin0x :F | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | †069†CobraN | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | SC | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | N4PST4R | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | $ #Koala ツ | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SC | 78 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | †069†CobraN | 67 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | $ #Koala ツ | 42 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | Drunken Master | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jin0x :F | 34 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $ #Koala ツ | +4.37 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | .vv3in | +3.17 | 90 | 70 |
| #3 | 4KaanDE | +1.83 | 89 | 37 |
| #4 | Drunken Master | +1.24 | 56 | 73 |
| #5 | Jin0x :F | +0.66 | 56 | 50 |





