








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2003 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1339 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1278 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1608 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 921 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $950,404 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >>----> |Gromson| <----<< | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | >>---->|PanMleczak|<----<< | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | aKeR | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Mr.C◕◕kie | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | >>----> |Ninja| <----<< | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.C◕◕kie | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | >>----> |Ninja| <----<< | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | >>----> |Gromson| <----<< | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Kati_007 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Rudziauke ♡ | 1 | 0.0008 |





