








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
522 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 555 | 27% |
| Smokes | 598 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 516 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 399 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $144,764 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eth | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | beef | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | R2NG3Z | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | Trim | 68% | 19 |
| #5 | BONGO | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | R2NG3Z | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | Trim | 68% | 19 |
| #5 | BONGO | 67% | 3 |
| #6 | benbranS | 63% | 8 |
| #7 | SAITAMA | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trim | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | R2NG3Z | 2 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | benbranS | 1 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | BONGO | 1 | 0.0172 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trim | 64 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | R2NG3Z | 38 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | benbranS | 34 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | beef | 25 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | BONGO | 11 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R2NG3Z | +5.32 | 82 | 76 |
| #2 | SAITAMA | +1.59 | 92 | 31 |
| #3 | Trim | +1.40 | 74 | 48 |
| #4 | benbranS | +0.39 | 90 | 48 |
| #5 | e1iias | -0.03 | 63 | 66 |





