










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
731 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 367 | 45% |
| Smokes | 152 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 236 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 68 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,753 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aust5n | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Seagal | 49% | 39 |
| #3 | Stxne_ | 45% | 33 |
| #4 | xHefty | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | oopy goopy | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Seagal | 49% | 39 |
| #3 | Stxne_ | 45% | 33 |
| #4 | xHefty | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | oopy goopy | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | Boosted | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boosted | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Seagal | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Stxne_ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | oopy goopy | 1 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | aust5n | 1 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seagal | 177 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | Boosted | 166 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Stxne_ | 105 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | aust5n | 33 | 0.37 | 1 min |
| #5 | xHefty | 26 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aust5n | +2.93 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | Boosted | +1.87 | 87 | 45 |
| #3 | oopy goopy | +0.73 | 47 | 69 |
| #4 | Stxne_ | -0.03 | 54 | 49 |
| #5 | ravi reps | -0.51 | 75 | 42 |





