








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1281 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1516 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 771 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1055 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $577,730 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spike | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | Maxxycat | 76% | 17 |
| #3 | toasty | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | hoax | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | BuddyB | 60% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reigen | 275 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | BuddyB | 171 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | uni | 137 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | nilo | 103 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | Xcaptain | 72 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toasty | +6.38 | 87 | 50 |
| #2 | hoax | +2.38 | 87 | 46 |
| #3 | BuddyB | +2.10 | 85 | 69 |
| #4 | uni | +1.91 | 67 | 72 |
| #5 | Spike | +0.63 | 69 | 57 |





