








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2677 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2663 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1342 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2417 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,813 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toasty | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Benji | 61% | 44 |
| #3 | Franz | 60% | 48 |
| #4 | ✪ Sham | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | hoax | 58% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Xcaptain | 56% | 118 |
| #7 | uni | 55% | 119 |
| #8 | guy mcflurry | 31% | 16 |
| #9 | Nito | 29% | 17 |
| #10 | yurty | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xcaptain | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | uni | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | ✪ Sham | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | hoax | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Franz | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xcaptain | 673 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #2 | uni | 513 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #3 | hoax | 183 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Franz | 137 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Benji | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guy mcflurry | +2.27 | 91 | 51 |
| #2 | toasty | +1.63 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | BuddyB | +1.31 | 87 | 67 |
| #4 | ✪ Sham | +1.17 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | Benji | +1.03 | 91 | 65 |





