








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1276 | 14% |
| Smokes | 691 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 2393 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4482 | 51% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,637,756 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝚙𝚎𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚢𝚢 | 49% | 47 |
| #2 | ᴴ i ᴾ ᴾ i | 48% | 84 |
| #3 | RaksaRaimo | 47% | 92 |
| #4 | Elon Snusk | 46% | 71 |
| #5 | Fabiõ | 45% | 192 |





