








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 940 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1204 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1304 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1205 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $966,226 of utility $287 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 566 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ITaZ |地獄の王 | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Babouche Blyat Sashimi | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟ | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | LaPomme ツ | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | ONIZ-UKA | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Babouche Blyat Sashimi | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟ | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | LaPomme ツ | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | ONIZ-UKA | 44% | 9 |
| #6 | db* | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ITaZ |地獄の王 | 16 | 0.0486 |
| #2 | LaPomme ツ | 11 | 0.0297 |
| #3 | Babouche Blyat Sashimi | 3 | 0.0141 |
| #4 | ONIZ-UKA | 3 | 0.0185 |
| #5 | ❟❛❟ | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | db* | 75 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | LaPomme ツ | 70 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | ITaZ |地獄の王 | 65 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | ONIZ-UKA | 28 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Babouche Blyat Sashimi | 24 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ITaZ |地獄の王 | +10.47 | 92 | 57 |
| #2 | Babouche Blyat Sashimi | +1.14 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟Minataw | +0.90 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | ❟❛❟ | +0.67 | 64 | 29 |
| #5 | LaPomme ツ | -0.29 | 75 | 29 |





