








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1042 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




193 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4645 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2978 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2574 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2466 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2057 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,778 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2962 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ❟❛❟Minataw | 61% | 18 |
| #8 | Babouche Blyat Sashimi | 60% | 47 |
| #9 | ONIZ-UKA | 56% | 18 |
| #10 | PeepSou | 50% | 54 |
| #11 | LaPomme ツ | 45% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaPomme ツ | 88 | 0.0364 |
| #2 | Sepra | 21 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | PeepSou | 19 | 0.0187 |
| #4 | ❟❛❟Minataw | 13 | 0.0396 |
| #5 | Babouche Blyat Sashimi | 11 | 0.0128 |





