








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 292 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




153 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2623 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4821 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4294 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1883 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,008,018 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2674 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trans-Grandpa | 79% | 43 |
| #2 | Gator Bait | 73% | 44 |
| #3 | JEWJITSU | 72% | 43 |
| #4 | Alrookk | 68% | 57 |
| #5 | Simp Police | 60% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simp Police | 17 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Shooter | 11 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Alrookk | 9 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | LurchingDeath | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | paerbac | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alrookk | +3.54 | 12 | 62 |
| #2 | Trans-Grandpa | +3.00 | 31 | 52 |
| #3 | Simp Police | +2.86 | 43 | 34 |
| #4 | Shooter | +2.50 | 74 | 51 |
| #5 | 𝑭𝑳𝑼𝑶𝑹𝑰𝑫𝑬 | +1.76 | 43 | 39 |





