








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 296 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3370 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3052 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2370 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1021 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,118,620 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MacDaddy | 54% | 68 |
| #2 | Wheel Snipe Celly | 54% | 98 |
| #3 | greasy glands | 52% | 86 |
| #4 | Coog | 51% | 61 |
| #5 | jawnsssss.CS.MONEY | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Wheel Snipe Celly | 54% | 98 |
| #3 | greasy glands | 52% | 86 |
| #4 | Coog | 51% | 61 |
| #5 | jawnsssss.CS.MONEY | 46% | 46 |
| #6 | Chromo | 42% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | greasy glands | 40 | 0.0227 |
| #2 | Chromo | 30 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | MacDaddy | 19 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | Wheel Snipe Celly | 12 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | jawnsssss.CS.MONEY | 5 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | greasy glands | 260 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Chromo | 224 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | MacDaddy | 154 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Coog | 154 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Wheel Snipe Celly | 153 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MacDaddy | +4.33 | 63 | 72 |
| #2 | jawnsssss.CS.MONEY | +0.60 | 61 | 52 |
| #3 | BigFungus | +0.43 | 64 | 57 |
| #4 | Coog | +0.36 | 63 | 47 |
| #5 | Chromo | -0.20 | 67 | 51 |





