








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1384 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1224 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1441 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1382 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $659,842 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 908 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jamppa | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | make | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | honda | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | GodLike | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Malisen Miikka | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | radekbonk11 | 38% | 13 |
| #9 | Shmuel | 36% | 11 |
| #10 | juuhan 瀑 | 36% | 14 |
| #11 | SlaiBa | 30% | 10 |
| #12 | VIGGEE 👑 | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodLike | 7 | 0.0277 |
| #2 | make | 5 | 0.0139 |
| #3 | VIGGEE 👑 | 3 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | Malisen Miikka | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | juuhan 瀑 | 2 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jamppa | +5.36 | 82 | 82 |
| #2 | GodLike | +3.68 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | Shmuel | +2.42 | 71 | 61 |
| #4 | make | +1.12 | 68 | 45 |
| #5 | juuhan 瀑 | +0.18 | 84 | 70 |





