








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1151 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 194 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8703 | 20% |
| Smokes | 11449 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 13226 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 9911 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,608,199 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 721 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Swompi | 49% | 281 |
| #6 | ThomaZoZ | 48% | 145 |
| #7 | Number 12, COCK | 47% | 148 |
| #8 | ✠ Jonas Las Vegas | 46% | 150 |
| #9 | Albino Hvit | 44% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWÖLLT` | +2.32 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | ThomaZoZ | +1.07 | 79 | 71 |
| #3 | Swompi | +0.30 | 80 | 62 |
| #4 | Damian Blaine | +0.17 | 75 | 72 |
| #5 | ✠ Jonas Las Vegas | -1.79 | 58 | 27 |





