








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 579 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2054 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 1230 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 416 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $391,276 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Damian Blaine | 39% | 83 |
| #6 | Swompi | 37% | 52 |
| #7 | [Pappas] ☭ Eg ede ass | 36% | 25 |
| #8 | Albino Hvit | 35% | 55 |
| #9 | Sultan | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWÖLLT` | +2.91 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | ThomaZoZ | +2.52 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | Damian Blaine | +1.26 | 79 | 73 |
| #4 | Swompi | +0.25 | 84 | 67 |
| #5 | Number 12, COCK | -1.35 | 52 | 41 |





