








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 850 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4381 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5293 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2784 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4031 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,298,132 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 664 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beasty | 75% | 32 |
| #2 | Bluely | 67% | 46 |
| #3 | Yeet | 46% | 90 |
| #4 | Bird | 45% | 252 |
| #5 | Brycehoe2inch | 43% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bluely | 67% | 46 |
| #3 | Yeet | 46% | 90 |
| #4 | Bird | 45% | 252 |
| #5 | Brycehoe2inch | 43% | 68 |
| #6 | www.corn | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yeet | 19 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Bird | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Bluely | 12 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | www.corn | 9 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | Brycehoe2inch | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bird | 326 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Brycehoe2inch | 184 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Beasty | 178 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #4 | Yeet | 144 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bluely | 126 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bluely | +3.61 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | Chawk | +3.21 | 89 | 57 |
| #3 | Beasty | +1.38 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | Bird | -1.90 | 48 | 45 |
| #5 | www.corn | -2.08 | 65 | 44 |





