








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2522 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2492 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2150 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2485 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $586,307 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | il professore | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | Dingil | 57% | 46 |
| #3 | Oliwki | 55% | 47 |
| #4 | jet | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | Superman | 54% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beshlik | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | jet | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Superman | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Oliwki | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | il professore | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beshlik | 553 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Dingil | 214 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | Oliwki | 132 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | il professore | 72 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | jet | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | il professore | +1.56 | 87 | 76 |
| #2 | Beshlik | +1.52 | 90 | 71 |
| #3 | Superman | +0.76 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | jet | +0.65 | 88 | 50 |
| #5 | Broddinen:- | +0.42 | 82 | 68 |





