








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1343 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1654 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1414 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1163 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,479,416 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1417 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zero | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | the smell | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | ecj | 51% | 93 |
| #4 | hotel california | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Shadow | 46% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | the smell | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | ecj | 51% | 93 |
| #4 | hotel california | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Shadow | 46% | 72 |
| #6 | *3* | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ecj | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Shadow | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | the smell | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | zero | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | *3* | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadow | 199 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | zero | 193 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #3 | hotel california | 172 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | ecj | 121 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | *3* | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *3* | +1.25 | 54 | 68 |
| #2 | ecj | +1.19 | 83 | 60 |
| #3 | zero | +0.71 | 59 | 75 |
| #4 | Shadow | +0.42 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | the smell | +0.13 | 49 | 57 |





