








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5790 | 44% |
| Smokes | 3505 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3002 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 981 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $735,483 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squeaks | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | kraytos | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | Sadderdays | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | BunBun | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | Abyss | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kraytos | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | Sadderdays | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | BunBun | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | Abyss | 39% | 46 |
| #6 | Jooka Looka Unka | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kraytos | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Sadderdays | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Abyss | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | BunBun | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Squeaks | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kraytos | 283 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Abyss | 214 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | BunBun | 94 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sadderdays | 74 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jooka Looka Unka | 71 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kraytos | +1.96 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | nuBnuB | +1.01 | 77 | 73 |
| #3 | Abyss | +0.21 | 63 | 69 |
| #4 | BunBun | -0.29 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | Squeaks | -0.90 | 59 | 45 |





