








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 221 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5444 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5736 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4723 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2834 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4148 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $959,182 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orangensaft | 567 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | ⛦ɅW⛦ | 417 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #3 | ioVaNnnn | 378 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | NinjA hshc | 324 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | cockrox | 298 | 0.22 | 7 min |





