








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3073 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2700 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2351 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2369 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $391,482 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 642 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juiciks | 56% | 81 |
| #2 | grenijs | 55% | 94 |
| #3 | Drawdzins | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | rip c prytea | 50% | 96 |
| #5 | Nezinamais | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rip c prytea | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | grenijs | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | juiciks | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Nezinamais | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | 76561198822690909 | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juiciks | 391 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | grenijs | 345 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | rip c prytea | 312 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | 76561198822690909 | 221 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | Nezinamais | 207 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nezinamais | +3.90 | 74 | 74 |
| #2 | rip c prytea | +2.29 | 73 | 52 |
| #3 | grenijs | +1.16 | 69 | 75 |
| #4 | juiciks | +0.47 | 73 | 76 |
| #5 | PWA | +0.03 | 72 | 68 |





