








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 282 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1763 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2141 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2530 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1805 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,672 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheesesteak Yummy :) | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | rageworthwhile | 58% | 64 |
| #3 | SaRcasm | 52% | 121 |
| #4 | TriFoldHero | 51% | 175 |
| #5 | BUNGIE | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | rageworthwhile | 58% | 64 |
| #3 | SaRcasm | 52% | 121 |
| #4 | TriFoldHero | 51% | 175 |
| #5 | BUNGIE | 47% | 34 |
| #6 | rakuenCallisto! ツ | 47% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TriFoldHero | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | SaRcasm | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | BUNGIE | 9 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | rageworthwhile | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Cheesesteak Yummy :) | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TriFoldHero | 380 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | SaRcasm | 108 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | rageworthwhile | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | rakuenCallisto! ツ | 51 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | BUNGIE | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheesesteak Yummy :) | +2.02 | 82 | 41 |
| #2 | BUNGIE | +1.21 | 69 | 44 |
| #3 | Going9000 | +1.18 | 54 | 48 |
| #4 | rageworthwhile | +0.96 | 61 | 32 |
| #5 | rakuenCallisto! ツ | +0.82 | 69 | 38 |





