








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2325 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1783 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2717 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2152 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,845 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 438 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheesesteak Yummy :) | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | rageworthwhile | 57% | 88 |
| #3 | Going9000 | 51% | 175 |
| #4 | SaRcasm | 48% | 173 |
| #5 | BUNGIE | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Going9000 | 51% | 175 |
| #4 | SaRcasm | 48% | 173 |
| #5 | BUNGIE | 44% | 70 |
| #6 | Garfield L Zanya | 42% | 26 |
| #7 | rakuenCallisto! ツ | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUNGIE | 16 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | SaRcasm | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Going9000 | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | rageworthwhile | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Cheesesteak Yummy :) | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Going9000 | 424 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | rageworthwhile | 159 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | SaRcasm | 136 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | BUNGIE | 108 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cheesesteak Yummy :) | 55 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheesesteak Yummy :) | +2.64 | 83 | 42 |
| #2 | rageworthwhile | +2.48 | 68 | 36 |
| #3 | BUNGIE | +1.72 | 71 | 39 |
| #4 | Going9000 | +1.40 | 53 | 50 |
| #5 | rakuenCallisto! ツ | -0.20 | 72 | 31 |





