








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1703 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 590 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1939 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2585 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2959 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2713 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,566,802 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 423 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T E L M i | 63% | 60 |
| #2 | RvonA | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | TÆP™ | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | Ch1P ツ | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | ani to the mus | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toodels | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ☠☣BLEEK☣☠ | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Akesyu | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | CEKfile | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ani to the mus | 4 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ch1P ツ | +3.70 | 81 | 38 |
| #2 | вroғιle | +2.66 | 69 | 42 |
| #3 | Shrimp | +0.65 | 82 | 51 |
| #4 | T E L M i | +0.36 | 65 | 61 |
| #5 | DuoSan | +0.29 | 58 | 60 |





