








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 530 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1103 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1974 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 949 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1088 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $717,860 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WONDER BREAD | 47% | 19 |
| #2 | Mushygas | 47% | 103 |
| #3 | Crucity | 47% | 43 |
| #4 | ✪ | 39% | 23 |
| #5 | BotTyler | 35% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BotTyler | 24 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | Quran | 9 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Crucity | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | ✪ | 5 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | WONDER BREAD | 4 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mushygas | 401 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | BotTyler | 227 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Quran | 108 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Crucity | 98 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ | 62 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WONDER BREAD | +2.73 | 86 | 28 |
| #2 | Mushygas | +1.10 | 57 | 70 |
| #3 | Garchomp | +0.87 | 55 | 55 |
| #4 | Crucity | -0.63 | 43 | 39 |
| #5 | BotTyler | -0.83 | 56 | 50 |





