








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,593 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4112 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3239 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1862 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2380 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,030,166 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Commander Camp | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | reVo | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Jeffery_z | 61% | 64 |
| #4 | NozeyGoblin | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | LOW TRUST FACTOR LARRY | 59% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | NozeyGoblin | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | LOW TRUST FACTOR LARRY | 59% | 56 |
| #6 | predat0r | 59% | 102 |
| #7 | cow | 57% | 119 |
| #8 | Hamshank | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cow | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | predat0r | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | LOW TRUST FACTOR LARRY | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Hamshank | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | reVo | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cow | 341 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | predat0r | 296 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jeffery_z | 205 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | NozeyGoblin | 80 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | reVo | 76 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NozeyGoblin | +2.22 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | Jeffery_z | +1.85 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | Cakes | +1.67 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | cow | +1.24 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | predat0r | +0.57 | 75 | 57 |





