








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 758 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 807 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13957 | 33% |
| Smokes | 9312 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 9605 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 9184 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,084,274 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Jorgin | 46% | 137 |
| #10 | Celo | 46% | 233 |
| #11 | Prof. "The Dream" Gilmar | 44% | 286 |
| #12 | Tiltei | 40% | 108 |
| #13 | FlaxChapeiro | 37% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prof. "The Dream" Gilmar | 44 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | dalson | 21 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Celo | 17 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Otaku_Gado | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Drift na Pélvis | 8 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dalson | 1073 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | ruim mas bonita | 709 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #3 | Jorgin | 566 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #4 | Prof. "The Dream" Gilmar | 555 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | Celo | 493 | 0.10 | 10 min |





