








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4302 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3483 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2827 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3477 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,882 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | helicopetero da liga da justiçã | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | The RaphiN | 62% | 52 |
| #3 | dalson | 61% | 61 |
| #4 | @nutricebolao-h$m4ch1n3NTC | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | laudo | 57% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Otaku_Gado | 7 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | laudo | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Jorgin | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | dalson | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | The RaphiN | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laudo | 606 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | Jorgin | 521 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #3 | dalson | 262 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Jopehope | 120 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Drift na Pélvis | 86 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruim mas bonita | +3.59 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | Tiltei | +0.88 | 57 | 65 |
| #3 | dalson | +0.40 | 52 | 63 |
| #4 | @nutricebolao-h$m4ch1n3NTC | -0.00 | 57 | 61 |
| #5 | The RaphiN | -0.08 | 39 | 60 |





