








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 827 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4643 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4417 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5534 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3619 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $608,184 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raiL | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | biBa | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | Gerd | 51% | 123 |
| #4 | choke | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Stylelox | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MetalSkinGaming🍍 | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Christjan Lindner #Gekündigt | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Gerd | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | biBa | 6 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Ingeborg | 4 | 0.0017 |





