










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 629 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2262 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3027 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2799 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2550 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,806,625 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Entertainer 펭귄 | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | choke | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | Gerd | 58% | 97 |
| #4 | raiL | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | biBa | 55% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cAstO 🍍 | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Christjan Lindner #Gekündigt | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | biBa | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Gerd | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Ingeborg | 3 | 0.0015 |





