








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 211 | 18% |
| Smokes | 480 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 138 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 316 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $101,637 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hakkaanjonkuRKM | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | t0ksi | 50% | 78 |
| #3 | rejuas | 48% | 84 |
| #4 | Paavali | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | jouni | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | t0ksi | 50% | 78 |
| #3 | rejuas | 48% | 84 |
| #4 | Paavali | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | jouni | 44% | 45 |
| #6 | Napoleon Bonaparte | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0ksi | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | jouni | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | rejuas | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Paavali | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | hakkaanjonkuRKM | 3 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0ksi | 398 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | jouni | 174 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | rejuas | 150 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | hakkaanjonkuRKM | 59 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Paavali | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0ksi | +3.26 | 66 | 76 |
| #2 | rejuas | +1.94 | 66 | 58 |
| #3 | jouni | -0.00 | 66 | 58 |
| #4 | hakkaanjonkuRKM | -0.90 | 26 | 47 |
| #5 | Paavali | -1.62 | 45 | 35 |





