








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1259 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 731 | 19% |
| Smokes | 694 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1210 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1245 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $311,389 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Entr1s | 64% | 33 |
| #4 | 𝗥𝗜𝗥𝗜 | 62% | 39 |
| #5 | JLM | 60% | 82 |
| #6 | Bongo Peter | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | ߷ Sallander-»Whocares.«- | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JLM | 14 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Entr1s | 8 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | 𝗥𝗜𝗥𝗜 | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | ߷ Sallander-»Whocares.«- | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Bongo Peter | 2 | 0.0084 |





