








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 667 | 15% |
| Smokes | 911 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1362 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1494 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $683,688 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crinton | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | kosta | 55% | 138 |
| #3 | Rhai | 55% | 157 |
| #4 | Zer0 | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | mack | 55% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rhai | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | kosta | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | 삐지다 | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Zer0 | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | mack | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kosta | 926 | 0.31 | 20 min |
| #2 | Rhai | 833 | 0.25 | 22 min |
| #3 | 삐지다 | 108 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Zer0 | 71 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Oblidion | 51 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zer0 | +2.23 | 74 | 57 |
| #2 | Blake | +2.21 | 72 | 48 |
| #3 | Rhai | +1.29 | 56 | 68 |
| #4 | 삐지다 | +0.48 | 53 | 49 |
| #5 | kosta | +0.27 | 69 | 60 |





