








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 310 | 15% |
| Smokes | 551 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 896 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 274 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,239 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dackel | Janis | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | T4k1 | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | DÜNNBRETTBOHRER | 44% | 43 |
| #4 | Skorpion ツ | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | Krelreg | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dackel | Janis | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | T4k1 | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | DÜNNBRETTBOHRER | 44% | 43 |
| #4 | Skorpion ツ | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | Krelreg | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DÜNNBRETTBOHRER | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Krelreg | 1 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DÜNNBRETTBOHRER | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Skorpion ツ | 73 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | T4k1 | 36 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dackel | Janis | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Krelreg | 15 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T4k1 | +2.45 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | Skorpion ツ | +1.23 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | DÜNNBRETTBOHRER | +0.95 | 62 | 68 |
| #4 | Dackel | Janis | -1.28 | 74 | 52 |
| #5 | scheiß Thai-ming сука | -1.47 | 38 | 32 |





