










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 532 | 34% |
| Smokes | 263 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 577 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 204 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,783 of utility $295 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | JokaKutiHuti | 25% | 4 |
| #11 | Juuh | 25% | 12 |
| #12 | Teletubby | 20% | 5 |
| #13 | Syaryu | 14% | 7 |
| #14 | sasa | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juuh | 4 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | TanK | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Wasted Penguin | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Oke666 | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Naikou | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wasted Penguin | 87 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | Th1me | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Oke666 | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | TanK | 26 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Juuh | 22 | 0.08 | 0 min |





