








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2218 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3599 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3252 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 633 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,024,632 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Mágico | 46% | 96 |
| #2 | The Alchemist | 40% | 105 |
| #3 | SevenO9 | 33% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Mágico | 46% | 96 |
| #2 | The Alchemist | 40% | 105 |
| #3 | SevenO9 | 33% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Mágico | 41 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | The Alchemist | 20 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | SevenO9 | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Mágico | 435 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | SevenO9 | 291 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #3 | The Alchemist | 284 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Mágico | +3.11 | 59 | 58 |
| #2 | El Mago | +0.47 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | The Alchemist | -1.90 | 48 | 58 |
| #4 | SevenO9 | -2.21 | 31 | 69 |





