








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 281 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1912 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2296 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3046 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1964 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,924 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | husky | 51% | 39 |
| #2 | Groovi 👀 | 47% | 115 |
| #3 | Joeyz | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | ALdr0ne | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | Bawb | 44% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ALdr0ne | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | Bawb | 44% | 81 |
| #6 | okl | 44% | 117 |
| #7 | hEN3SY | 42% | 57 |
| #8 | cavaz | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hEN3SY | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | okl | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ALdr0ne | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Groovi 👀 | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Bawb | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | husky | 163 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bawb | 136 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | okl | 130 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | hEN3SY | 94 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Joeyz | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | husky | +1.77 | 68 | 60 |
| #2 | hEN3SY | +1.61 | 91 | 45 |
| #3 | Buhlaa | +0.18 | 59 | 58 |
| #4 | Bawb | +0.08 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | ALdr0ne | -0.12 | 38 | 53 |





