








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4186 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2291 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3134 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 937 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,910 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mulletezas | 75% | 32 |
| #2 | ´gholesso | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | Vammatar | 55% | 96 |
| #4 | Unfriendly | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | Skai | 53% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Siroxs* | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Vammatar | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Frenzy Mullet | 8 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | ´gholesso | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Skai | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vammatar | 332 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Siroxs* | 218 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Skai | 218 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | ´gholesso | 156 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Talis | 133 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skai | +4.21 | 65 | 71 |
| #2 | ´gholesso | +3.07 | 54 | 51 |
| #3 | Vammatar | +1.52 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | Siroxs* | +0.92 | 57 | 47 |
| #5 | Frenzy Mullet | +0.55 | 40 | 40 |





