








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 727 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 656 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3601 | 15% |
| Smokes | 7169 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6612 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7365 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,659,870 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 858 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BubonicPlaqueIRL | 51% | 198 |
| #2 | Vammatar | 49% | 117 |
| #3 | ´gholesso | 47% | 163 |
| #4 | Skai | 45% | 128 |
| #5 | Talis | 45% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frenzy Mullet | 25 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Talis | 14 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ´gholesso | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | BubonicPlaqueIRL | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Vammatar | 9 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BubonicPlaqueIRL | 994 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #2 | Skai | 459 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | Vammatar | 388 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | ´gholesso | 361 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Talis | 321 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skai | +3.09 | 70 | 65 |
| #2 | ´gholesso | +1.33 | 52 | 53 |
| #3 | Vammatar | +0.64 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | Siroxs* | +0.14 | 56 | 53 |
| #5 | Frenzy Mullet | -0.57 | 44 | 38 |





