








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1827 | 44% |
| Smokes | 803 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 889 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 659 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $338,704 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 663 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maka | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | Sr. Presidente ᴾᵀ | 44% | 80 |
| #3 | ☠︎ Rason ☠ | 39% | 28 |
| #4 | H1R0 | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | Sapo0o ☋ <3 | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maka | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | Sr. Presidente ᴾᵀ | 44% | 80 |
| #3 | ☠︎ Rason ☠ | 39% | 28 |
| #4 | H1R0 | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | Sapo0o ☋ <3 | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sr. Presidente ᴾᵀ | 18 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Sapo0o ☋ <3 | 9 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | ☠︎ Rason ☠ | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | H1R0 | 3 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | Maka | 2 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sr. Presidente ᴾᵀ | 131 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | ☠︎ Rason ☠ | 79 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sapo0o ☋ <3 | 64 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | H1R0 | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Maka | 8 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H1R0 | +2.37 | 49 | 62 |
| #2 | Sr. Presidente ᴾᵀ | +1.79 | 62 | 54 |
| #3 | Sapo0o ☋ <3 | +0.93 | 81 | 42 |
| #4 | ☠︎ Rason ☠ | +0.47 | 52 | 53 |
| #5 | GoldenS | -0.93 | 61 | 70 |





