








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 179 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1666 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1210 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1373 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1442 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $608,136 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHINNERS13 | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | P | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | KEVIN ONER | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | Voilà | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | ZEKE ZEKE | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHINNERS13 | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | P | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | KEVIN ONER | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | Voilà | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | ZEKE ZEKE | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEVIN ONER | 4 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEVIN ONER | 132 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Voilà | 71 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | ZEKE ZEKE | 67 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | P | 59 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | SHINNERS13 | 47 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voilà | +3.91 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | KEVIN ONER | +2.77 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | caipora | +2.14 | 91 | 54 |
| #4 | ZEKE ZEKE | +0.45 | 96 | 77 |
| #5 | SHINNERS13 | +0.03 | 73 | 54 |





