








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 517 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3087 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1348 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1316 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1753 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1844 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $530,320 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | k0ter^ | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | Unifite | 53% | 49 |
| #4 | ✪ stor hane | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | Japper | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiwi | +3.73 | 86 | 52 |
| #2 | ✪ stor hane | +3.29 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | dannywag600 | +1.36 | 49 | 69 |
| #4 | Jesus | +1.07 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | k0ter^ | +0.57 | 81 | 61 |





