








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 365 matches | ||
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Renown | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 126 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5336 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6810 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6828 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6751 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,134,146 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unifite | 1746 | 0.15 | 43 min |
| #2 | Jesus | 1111 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #3 | Japper | 970 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #4 | ✪ stor hane | 363 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | ✪ fromoviz | 244 | 0.11 | 6 min |





