








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 582 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2197 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1293 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2401 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1997 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,262 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Predixtions | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | andre | 53% | 19 |
| #7 | cold | 51% | 74 |
| #8 | RAMBO | 50% | 60 |
| #9 | leissO | 49% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rEqN | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | cold | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | leissO | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Kindred | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Jynx | 4 | 0.0169 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rEqN | 602 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | cold | 349 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | leissO | 191 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | RAMBO | 172 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kindred | 136 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rEqN | +2.44 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | Jynx | +1.84 | 98 | 55 |
| #3 | leissO | +1.68 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | cold | +0.59 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | katar | +0.42 | 85 | 61 |





