








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2548 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2516 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2624 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2088 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2466 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $516,221 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nrb | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Jynx | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | Gospel | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Predixtions | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | Kindred | 55% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | rEqN | 54% | 248 |
| #7 | andre | 50% | 28 |
| #8 | katar | 49% | 63 |
| #9 | cold | 46% | 35 |
| #10 | RAMBO | 42% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | katar | 16 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | rEqN | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Jynx | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Kindred | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | andre | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rEqN | 834 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | katar | 175 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kindred | 141 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | cold | 137 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | RAMBO | 121 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nrb | +1.97 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | rEqN | +1.78 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | leissO | +1.76 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | Jynx | +1.34 | 93 | 56 |
| #5 | katar | -0.44 | 83 | 61 |





