








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2069 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1855 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1999 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1569 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,502 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 311 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JJAMZZ | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Tony Merguez | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Terra | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | buster | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | IKsRage | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SLID3RS | 52% | 23 |
| #7 | ✪ Lawid | 50% | 199 |
| #8 | dino. | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | Exe | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | ezOL - | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Lawid | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | buster | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | dino. | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Exe | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | ezOL - | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Lawid | 355 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | dino. | 66 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | JJAMZZ | 51 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | buster | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Exe | 41 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony Merguez | +2.55 | 93 | 56 |
| #2 | ✪ Lawid | +1.70 | 89 | 59 |
| #3 | Exe | +1.36 | 92 | 74 |
| #4 | IKsRage | +1.26 | 86 | 65 |
| #5 | buster | +0.26 | 73 | 56 |





