








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 355 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2003 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2182 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2375 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1440 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1987 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $680,008 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McMice | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | PoiSoN | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | JaniG | 53% | 74 |
| #4 | pineappletheislandboi | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | RedJohn | 52% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Paddel Lurch // lurch.de | 41% | 27 |
| #10 | Sama | 41% | 74 |
| #11 | Kaboomski ツ | 39% | 59 |
| #12 | Cornylishes | 39% | 70 |
| #13 | Xxamon | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cowboy Kent Rollins | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | pineappletheislandboi | 8 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | RedJohn | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | JaniG | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Sama | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedJohn | 240 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | JaniG | 207 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Cowboy Kent Rollins | 189 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | pineappletheislandboi | 162 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Cornylishes | 157 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoiSoN | +4.45 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Gazo ♞ | +2.02 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | McMice | +1.84 | 57 | 67 |
| #4 | pineappletheislandboi | +0.83 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | RedJohn | +0.28 | 64 | 58 |





