








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 640 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6686 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7336 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6334 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7018 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,131,318 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 798 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Gazo ♞ | 43% | 86 |
| #7 | jojaenke | 41% | 54 |
| #8 | Kaboomski ツ | 39% | 114 |
| #9 | Paddel Lurch // lurch.de | 39% | 158 |
| #10 | Xxamon | 39% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sama | 762 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | Daniel Düsenglied | 566 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #3 | Gazo ♞ | 326 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kaboomski ツ | 243 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Cornylishes | 228 | 0.09 | 5 min |





